True Fanfic aka Authoress Invasion
by Skaja VII
Summary: by J & A2- The sub-realities (worlds where all our favourite characters live) meet reality (Earth. Le duh.) X-Men/TMNT/Esca/BtVS/AtS/HP/VH etc.
1. Great things are accomplished at 3 am...

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, or the first and second authors (Kathleen, Kitty, or Dude and Rayven or Ray). I do own me.  
  
Author's Note: Just a weird concept with a very comic twist. The ones to really get this would be my fellow Authoresses, but I kind of think it's funny anyway. Read, my pretties, and your little characters too!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Okay, Professor, Gambit can see why de X-Men would have a meetin' at 3 o'clock in de mornin'. Dat has happened before. But what he askin' is.why in hell are we in de Astral Plane?" The Professor shook his head and smiled at Gambit, who was obviously ornery from lack of sleep. Of course, despite the patience of his students, he had to admit they all looked like they'd had their feathers ruffled (and no, not in the Shi'ar fashion.now that's my idea of a bad hair day.) And the news he had for them didn't make it better, but before he could relay his message, Jean spoke. "I believe I know why we're here, Charles." She said, a grim look on her face. "But why this part of the Astral Plane? This place is usually the setting for a battle of wills, based on its ability to change to the whims of its inhabitants." Phoenix gestured to the complete, vast space of blank white around them. Xavier shrugged. "Authors often want to impose their wills on their surroundings- it comes naturally to them. I thought any less would be offensive. And, as you know, they do operate in the wee hours of the morning, which is why I decided on this time-" "Wait a minute." Cyclops looked like he had been taken aback. "Authors? Have we come here to meet authors in battle, Professor?" "That'd be a pretty one-sided battle, Ah think." added Rogue. The Professor shook his head. "I'm well aware of that, Rogue. No, we've come here to negotiate terms with a few of them. Namely, the few rather obsessive- and insane- ones that have been coming into our lives lately." Gambit suddenly nodded in understanding, but a dark look crossed his face. "One of dem fan girls stole a deck of cards from Gambit." He grumbled. Wolverine almost rolled his eyes. "Get over it, Cajun. How much do those things cost, like a flamin' buck?" Gambit's face nearly turned red. "Well.it was the principle of de t'ing." he said almost inaudibly. And then, gathering courage, he summoned a comeback. "Besides, what've you got to worry about, mon ami? Dey ain't all obsessed wit' you." Wolverine merely glared back at Gambit. "I'd do well to remind you that one of them is, Cajun. The one that's the most active author, and prolly the most dangerous. Half-insanity and half-logic is a winning combination in a writer seeking prey." Looking apologetic, Gambit nodded his head. And then- they arrived. (Dun dun dun!) Amongst a roster of ten X-Men and their founder, one would believe that three teenage girls would not be too impressive. But, being authors, they most certainly were the most daunting things the Astral Plane could see. After all, not often would three unite. As they were in their element, the three all looked ethereally beautiful. The first, with long dark hair and blue eyes, seemed anime-like- cute and mischievous. The second had hair of a similar shade, but it was close cropped and red-tinged. Her eyes were sea foam green, masking a maturity beyond her age, but also a craziness found only in an author. The third looked most definitely like the ringleader. She had shoulder length brown hair with highlights, and eyes the color of grass, tinged with grey and brown. Her quick glance at Wolverine confirmed that she was the fan he spoke of, and yet, she pulled a deck of cards out of the pocket of her cargo khakis. She looked fondly at them and then smiled up at the X-Men. "So, we meet again. Well, as much as I'd like to do what we were going to- negotiate- I'm afraid something has come up." "A comic book convention?" asked Iceman jokingly. "The annual Trekkie meeting?" put in Wolverine sarcastically. "Actually, neither." The leader replied. "And, by the way Wolverine, I am by no means a trekkie." "I am the trekkie!" proclaimed the second, looking offended. Wolverine only grinned in response. "Anyway, we've come to warn you of something." the second one told them with importance in her tone. "It's that-" "They're going to kill you all!" cried the first, grinning evilly like only an author can. "Kathleen!" chastised the second, looking serious. The first, Kathleen, only grinned and chuckled. "Well, my friend tends to have a flare of the dramatic." the leader started with a grin to match her fellow author's. "But what she speaks is nearly true. I'm afraid the inevitable has happened- the lingering fandom of people on earth has drawn all the worlds together, giving authors their full power. And they're starting to use it. I only discovered myself about an hour ago, but already they start to venture and speak of conquests.speak of capturing the characters who have eluded them by being fictious." She spoke in a bare, theatrical whisper. "And most are powerless against them." "So I guess you're here to collect what's rightfully yours." Archangel said rather dryly. "The X-Men." "We won't be taken without a fight." Psylocke warned. The leader laughed aloud, and soon the other two joined her. When they stopped, tears had wet their eyes. "Well, as appealing as it is to take you," admitted the second, "we've not come to do that." "You, fight us." spoke the first, amusement in her tone. "Waa!" she cried out, moving around her hands in some strange pattern. She then snickered. The leader and second rolled their eyes. "Yes dude." they said in unison. "Really, we've come to help you." the leader told them. "You see, there is a way you may be able to escape capture, at least for a good time. In the meanwhile, the FCPA will be working to fix the world merge." "The FCPA? Who are they?" queried Storm. "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!" cried the leader, and then caught herself. "Sorry. I'm unable to tell you that. I'm not actually supposed to know that information, but I am the sole possessor of Entity." "Fascinating?" Beast asked in confusion, raising an eyebrow. "Anywho, you may be able to escape capture by using these." The leader held out a bag full of devices that looked like something between Cyclops' visor and a pair of sunglasses. "They are somewhat like detectors of auras. They will tell you the nature of someone's relationship towards you." "Interesting." Prof. X said, picking up a visor and putting it on. He looked at Cyclops and saw a flash of green script that proclaimed 'dedicated student', and a button appeared that proclaimed 'wink for more detail'. Beast, who had done the same and looked at Iceman, murmured "Oh my stars and garters." He then took the visor off and glanced over at the leader. "Where'd you get your hands on such an admirable piece of equipment, my dear?" The leader grinned. "Let's just say that's classified." "Well, it be a useful machine, petite." Gambit proclaimed, "but what does dis have to do wit' escapin'?" "I was getting to that. Anywho, you have to use those to find one known as a 'true fan'- one that will do absolutely anything for the love of a character- namely yourself. This person must also be an author. If you can ally yourselves with them- which is childishly simple, considering that they'll probably collapse in honour just at the suggestion of being around you- they will protect you. However, be wise. Some authors are more powerful than others- and some have unusual allies." Cyclops nodded in understanding as he attempted to put his new visor over his current one. The leader smiled kindly and merged the two for the hapless mutant. With the new modifications, he looked at the author and saw the flash 'conflicting feelings'. "Conflicting feelings?" Cyclops pondered aloud. The leader looked a bit flushed. "Uh, I'd think that you should take it well into advisory not to use that to look at any of us. Ever." Cyclops seemed shocked, but nodded again. "Alright." Wolverine chuckled as he reached for his own visor. Gambit had put his on and was admiring himself in a newly appeared mirror. He smiled over at Rogue. "Pretty cool, eh chere?" Rogue shook her head as she looked around at her team mates. "Ah think y'all look like you've been in the Matrix." At the mention of the Matrix, the first grinned widely. "That movie was awesome!" she crowed, going into an impression of Neo dodging bullets. Gambit looked over at her with a smile of amusement until two fateful green words flashed before his eyes. "True fan." He spoke aloud, but it was barely a croak. His usually devil- may-care-expression looked drained of blood. "What'd ya say, shugah?" Rogue asked, still merry. Gambit pointed at the first and wordlessly showed Rogue the inside of his visor. She also paled. "One of.one of them is your true fan, Remy?" Rogue looked hurt, somehow. "But-" The first, also known as Kathleen, turned to look at Rogue. "What? What're you guys talking about?" "Well, petite." Gambit said, putting on a smile, "you're my true fan." The leader and second shrugged. "Figures." The leader didn't really seem impressed by their revelation. "But.don't you.?" Gambit seemed confused. "How would you.?" "It's kinda duh that Dude's in love with ya. I mean, hard not to notice when-" "Silence, toi!" cried the one now also known as Dude. The leader again shrugged. "Just stating the obvious." Dude grinned. "Well, you shouldn't talk, you're the one in love with-" "Quiet, you!" exclaimed the leader, blushing furiously. Wolverine then looked at her and seemed deathly angry and yet relieved at once. The second laughed. "You're both asses." She stated. "Dang it, Ray- of Sunshine- why aren't you obsessed with someone? You're the sap!" the leader looked somewhat disappointed. "It's not faair!" whined the first. "Gambit, tell her it's not fair!" Gambit seemed very, very confused, but turned to Ray. "Uh, it's not fair, petite?" "Gambit." Dude sighed happily and clutched Gambit's arm, leaning against him. Gambit's expression read complete and utter confusion, but he didn't move. Meanwhile, Rogue looked like a thundercloud of jealousy. Wolverine approached the leader and looked her in the eye. "Well, darlin'. I guess you know what I'm goin' ta ask." The leader sighed in disappointment. "Yes, a character can have more than one true fan, Wolver-" Wolverine looked sufficiently baffled. "I was goin' ta ask you to be my.uh.protector, but if ya don't want the job-" The leader's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?" she burst out. "I'd do it for a box of stale donuts and a poke in the eye!" She then frowned, however. "But why would you want me as a protector? What's with the sudden change of heart about trusting us?" Wolverine heaved a sigh. "Darlin', it's either you or some other rabid fan girl. An' like ya said, some authors are more powerful than others." The leader lifted a brow. "Was that a compliment? You do know, my stories aren't the best, I was just talking about my connections with the FCPA and my tons of characters, I mean, the other Wolverine fans would totally chew me up if they ever figured this out, like, they'd kill me-" Ray sighed. "Pizza?" "Yeah?" "You're rambling again." "Right." She sighed and then grinned. "I guess the whole collapsing in honor thing was sorta accurate, but my sense of balance isn't bad, luckily." Wolverine lifted an eyebrow. "Okay then, darlin'." "Anywho, I guess our work is done. We should go and warn the-" Pizza was abruptly cut off by a cry of triumph from Storm. When they turned to look at her, she blushed. "I apologize, my friends. But finding my true fan and discovering she's not.well.a man of dark intentions-" Ororo said with a blush, "is a relief." "Who's your true fan?" asked Pizza in confusion. She looked at her two companions, then eying Ray. "Ohh. I didn't catch that one." "Probably didn't get this one, either." called out Iceman. He looked pointedly at Dude. "You're attracting more X-Men than Magneto, Dude." Pizza grinned. Dude only laughed evilly and smiled at Bobby. "I guess- hope- our work is done here." said Ray with a grimace. "In fact, let's leave before we get any more of it. We still have a couple stops to make, don't we?" Gambit seemed confused, but it wasn't anything new. "Where would you go, petite?" Pizza responded for her. "Next stop is the TMNT 'verse. And you're coming with us." "And so am I." Psylocke cut in, rather belatedly. Pizza glanced over at her- she smiled sheepishly. "I haven't been telepathic in a while.I was kind of looking around. But you're my true fan." Pizza shrugged. "I may end up overdoing this phrase, but it figures. You're with us, hopping to the next 'verse." "How're we supposed to get there, darlin'?" Wolverine asked. Screwing up her face with concentration, Pizza.concentrated. What else? She puzzled and puzzled until her puzzler was sore, and then found a solution. "Well, I've got a short term solution." Pizza proclaimed. "We can imitate teleporter's powers from here to get to the TMNT 'verse, but how we get on from there is-" "Something we'll have to figure out when we get there." Dude cut in, rather seriously for herself. "We don't have a lot of time, remember? Maybe it'll be different in the real world." Pizza nodded. "Alright, everybody join hands. We're off." Archangel frowned. "What about the rest of us?" The authors smiled in sympathy. "We can't take you all." Ray told them. "It's beyond the power we can manifest here." "I wish you good luck, however." stated Pizza. Strangely, she kissed Cyclops, followed by slapping him in the face. She then grinned and joined the forming circle of teleportation. Cyclops rubbed his cheek in disbelief as they disappeared- the first and her charges in a pillar of blue light, the second and Storm in a flurry of shockwaves, and the leader and the two martial artists in a swirl of iridescent sparkles. But not before one of them had taken the time to yell "BAMF!". 


	2. Obsession is important...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Ninja Turtles, either. Le melodramatic sigh.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
When the seven strangers appeared in the lair, Raphael was sitting on the couch, watching television. He was wholly unimpressed by the fact that some girl appeared on his lap- that was, until he discovered that she was gorgeous and looked drained somehow. Also, she seemed strangely familiar…  
  
However, before he had a chance to say anything, she moaned and curled up in a ball, looking sick. A couple of other rather ravishing girls were doing the same, although they weren't on his lap. The rest of the intruders, three men and two women with very strange coloured hair, looked appropriately concerned.  
  
"Let's not do that again." groaned the girl in Raph's lap, rubbing her head as she rose to her feet. She smiled pleasantly at Raph as she noticed him. "Hi." She said. "Sorry about…er…popping in. We'll be out in a minute; we just wanted to warn you of something. If you could get your brothers and sensei…?"  
  
Despite the attractiveness of the five females he'd suddenly found in the room, Raphael still could be suspicious (we're talking Raph here, people). "Look, lady, I don't know what you expect, but I can't just trust you on-"  
  
However, he was abruptly cut off, though not by words. The girl in front of him changed- and became a girl with chestnut hair of chin length, with eyes of a deep jade. She was suddenly taller and looked more dangerous. But the next words she spoke were not tinged with the aura of impending doom. In fact…  
  
"What the hell?!" she exclaimed, giving a long look to herself. "This is impossible! Dude, I just became Alyssa!"  
  
"Tell me about it." replied an Asian looking raven-haired beauty who had formerly been rather Caucasian with freckles.  
  
"Ditto." joined in another girl rather dryly, this one tall with dark blue eyes and spiky black hair.  
  
"Alright, freaky…" muttered the girl in front of him. She shrugged anyway, and then looked at Raphael. "Okay, here's the lowdown: all the worlds have collided, authors are gaining power, yada yada, going to try to capture you for their own means, yada yada…and…use this, find a true fan that's an author."  
  
She pressed a funny looking pair of sunglasses into Raphael's hand. He frowned at them and glared suspiciously at her. She shrugged again.  
  
"Couldn't hurt to try them on."  
  
Raphael silently agreed, but before he could move to do anything, a man behind the girl broke in.  
  
"Gambit t'ink you rather rushed in explainin', non? Giving de X-Men preferential treatment, petite?" he grinned.  
  
"You were safe and sound, at least temporarily, in the Astral Plane, not to mention the fact that we now have a buncha worlds to hit, Cajun." The girl scowled slightly at Gambit. "Don't think it's anything personal, Raphael." She added quickly, smiling.  
  
The Asian one grinned. "You're in-"  
  
The brunette growled. "Don't. Start. Ever." She then glared at the other raven-haired girl, who held up her hands in surrender.  
  
"So." Raphael cut in. "Find my 'true fan', you say? One that's an author?"  
  
The brunette nodded, smiling again. A short, well-built guy with spiky hair waved a hand in front of her face.  
  
"I thought we were in a rush, darlin'?" he asked, looking slightly piqued.  
  
"We are!" she looked frustrated. "Y'know, just 'cause the rest of you guys aren't TMNT fanatics doesn't mean you have to give me a hard time! Sheesh!"  
  
Raising an eyebrow, the man sunk back, slowly smirking. Nunchucks bared, Mike rushed into the room, looking around suddenly in confusion.  
  
"I heard voices." He explained, panting slightly with exertion. "What's going on, bro?"  
  
The brunette pressed a pair of sunglasses into his hand. "Just put them on, okay?" she said, looking tired. He obeyed her and put them on. He then seemed confused as he stared at her.  
  
"'True fan'…what does that mean?" he asked.  
  
The brunette smiled yet again, and Raphael came to think she did that a lot. "It means you're coming with me…if you want to."  
  
Mike shrugged. "Sure. Whatever you say, gorgeous."  
  
The brunette cracked a grin. Leo, Don and Splinter then walked in, seeming battle ready. They were awfully surprised when they suddenly had pairs of strange sunglasses in their hands.  
  
"Put them on." The brunette said impatiently.  
  
Obeying without question, they all put on the sunglasses. Raphael frowned at the interior of his. They read "true fan" in flashing green letters at they were pointed at the brunette.  
  
"Do I come with you, too?" Raphael asked simply.  
  
The brunette nodded, finally seeming serious. "Yeah. I'll protect ya."  
  
Leo frowned. "From what?" he was looking around the room suspiciously.  
  
"Author fan-girls- or maybe artist fan-girls, I guess there's some of them too- who want a piece of ya." The Asian one explained.  
  
"And if these things say 'true fan'…?" Leo asked.  
  
"That means you've found the right person to protect you- if the person has power to help you with, that is." explained the tall raven-haired girl. Leo slid down his shades and looked pointedly at the girl. She blushed.  
  
The other two burst out in a fit of giggles. "I knew it!" cried the brunette.  
  
"Oh, shuttup." protested the raven-hair. "This coming from you, no less."  
  
"Point taken." The brunette slightly grimaced. "Alright, let's bail."  
  
At that moment, they all changed again, the raven-hair becoming red- haired, the Asian becoming very pale with fiery eyes, and the brunette becoming another brunette with ever-changing eyes. This didn't seem to faze the girls, though the others in the room were shocked.  
  
"How're we supposed to bail?" asked the now red-haired one.  
  
"Well, now that we are within a sub-reality of Earth, I suppose character and author powers could be used…whereas before it was the Astral Plane, so we had to move using mental prowess of a sort…" said the brunette thoughtfully. "Alright, plan. You two can move on to the next places where you have to be, and pick up any of our characters along the way. I'll take our current staff to an undisclosed location and then meet you guys back…wherever you are…so we can bring the rest to the place. Cool?"  
  
"One problem: we can't teleport." Said the red-hair pointedly. "And our author powers aren't fully assumed yet- Shannon said-"  
  
The brunette cut her off with a meaningful look. "I'll 'port you there at first, but after the first pick up, you should be at least up to orbing/blinking par, according to the sector of author powers and the calculations we were given. So now are we cool?"  
  
The other two nodded. "Cool." They replied.  
  
"And we're off!" she crowed.  
  
With a series of "BAMF"s, they were gone.  
  
And the rat and the turtle watched, dumbfounded. 


	3. Logical? Why must it be logical?

   Chapter 3

   When the characters could look around again, they were in a small cabin with a wooden floor, a couple rickety beds, and a bunk bed. A fireplace sat in one corner, and a counter with cabinets around it at the other side. There were also a bunch of windows. The brunette looked around and then suddenly grinned.

   "Power! I suddenly love this world..." And with that, sparkles consumed the room. Soon the whole inside of the cabin was reinforced with adamantium, with one exit- a sliding door with a complicated looking console beside it. The brunette then slumped onto the bunk bed as she turned into a blonde with blue eyes.

   "That'll be enough renovating for now." She proclaimed.

   "You okay, darlin'?" asked Wolverine, seeming slightly concerned.

   "Yeah, fine." She assured him. "'Cept I've got this weird feeling that-" she looked at Iceman, then her demeanor seemed to sink. "Never mind."

   Bobby frowned. "What is it?"

   "Well…I think my character's personalities are trying to come through. I didn't really feel it up until now, but I guess when you're tired or weakened…"

   Raphael raised an eyeridge suspiciously. "Are these personalities hostile or something?"

   She shook her head. "Not really. Not this one, at least." She said, twirling a strand of blonde hair. "They're just slightly…uh…slightly annoying, is all."

   "Annoying? Annoying how?" Mike asked.

   "Let's just say I have an overwhelming urge to start talking Valley girl and go to the mall, among other things." She winced kind of cutely, but then turned into a tall Spanish girl with dark hair and chocolate eyes. With a sigh, she got to her feet. "If I were Amoeba, I'd growl. But of course this one doesn't growl."

   Looking frustrated, the girl paced about the room. It seemed to get warmer and warmer every step she took until the others began to sweat. Iceman grimaced, as did Storm.

   "Is there a fire in here or…?" Leo questioned.

   The girl glanced over at him, slightly startled, and the temperature began to go down. "No. Let me introduce you to Kalika Machette, aka Heatwave." She said, gesturing to herself. "And the person in the suit is Jazz, by the way."

   She then continued pacing, but shrunk about a foot and turned into a teenage boy who looked an awful lot like Wolverine. She- or he- began punching the wall, which of course didn't budge- it was adamantium. However, despite the crunch of bones which made them wince, the boy- or Jazz, who it really was- kept punching, unaffected.

   "Damn" punch "why" punch "did" punch "I" punch "make" punch "up" punch "2" punch "generations" punch "of" punch "Wolvie!" kick!  
   She growled and sat down on the floor. The hand, which actually belonged to a character named Darren, was healing at a rapid pace.

   Wolverine frowned and looked at her- or rather, the body she was in. Slick but ruffled black hair- a pair of dark blue eyes not unlike his own. A littler leaner and taller than him, but otherwise, the body was a dead-on for Wolvie.

   "Are you sayin' that you…wrote me a family?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

   Jazz nodded miserably. "Yeah. Your kid even resembles you." She smiled slightly. "If it makes you feel better, Sabretooth's kid looks nothing like him. And…and he dies in an alternate universe. And the mother's Mystique." Jazz changed forms again, becoming a girl with chin-length sandy-auburn hair and soulful brown eyes. 

    "Well…this is pretty weird, huh?" Mike stated in reference to Jazz- the minute before he turned into a beautiful brunette girl with the dirtied clothing of a street rat.

   "Twisted." Psylocke commented with a smirk.

   "So you are a writer!" Jazz said with a smile, and then a frown. "Uh, which could be good and bad in the sense of people being able to find us."

   "What do you mean, good and bad?" Mike asked.

   "Well, characters are easy to find when you're not looking for them, but when you look for them, it's hard to find them. Authors are easy to find- if only you look. They are looking right now- though not directly for authors, at least not at a very long range. They may want to sense the authors around them, if only to ward off competition. It's complicated that way." She shrugged.

   "Well…" started Storm, hesitant, as she was speaking to the authoress for the first time. "How exactly are they to ward off competition?"

   Jazz shrugged. "Violence of some sort, wouldn't you think?"

   Psylocke looked over at Storm, seeming to catch her drift. "And this violence you speak of…a fight they might have…who would win?"

   Mike nodded in understanding. "I think they're asking…what determines how much power an author has compared to another author?"

   Jazz sat down and promptly turned into a scaly, red-skinned girl with solid yellow eyes, a prehensile tail, and very strange hands and feet. Despite this very strange appearance, she managed to look thoughtful. "Well, the original authors- that is, those who don't copyright infringe like myself- have awesome powers, but they're based in the real world, in a reality. Their powers become delegated in a sense- it's hard to explain, but the money and fame that they acquire negates the powers they would have theoretically received, and the more money and fame, the more powerful. So…if you could substitute the money and fame for power…you'd be powerful…but you can't, because without money and fame, the world is less known and less powerful…catch my drift?"

   When the characters slowly nodded, she continued. "However, fanfiction is based in non-reality, as you know…but the powers received are based in sub-reality, real but not tangible (non-reality being unreal and intangible in comparison to the real world), since fame and money can't truly be garnered from fanfiction…and most fanfiction exchange is in a virtual world…it's also hard to explain. But just know- when a fanfic author is in a story, in the sense of writing it anyway, they hold the power. When a normal author is writing a story, though the process may be more important to them…the fame becomes the payoff, whether it's wanted or not, just as the power becomes the payoff for a fanfic author, whether it's wanted or not. But, normally, a fanfic author wouldn't have much to feel smug about, because their power is in a sub-reality, a virtual reality, and therefore can't be touched in any…sense of regular senses. In this situation, though, the sub-realities have come together, and so our powers have reached our real selves."

   The characters seemed to be ready to ask a question at this point, but Jazz carried on, quite oblivious. It was clear to the others in the room how much she enjoyed explaining things. "Now, how to measure the powers of an author...well, that's tough…you have to factor in how much they've written, how much thought and time was spent on it…the fandoms the work is in, or fandoms the author participates in…role-playing, not so much actually doing it as their insight into characters, be they original or copyright…what kind of writing or insight they make, to base their powers on- we all have the basic things, but when it comes to a fight, a lot can be determined…their dedication, of course, that's something a bit more emotional…obsession is a form of power, yet also a form of insanity- detriment and credit, you see…"

   Wolverine had become impatient. "That's all well and good for you to do, darlin', since you can find out about what these people write and participate in. But for us…just from observin'…"

   Jazz tapped her chin. "A rough- very rough- estimation could be made from number of fandoms, characters, etc…and how much they know about said things."

   "So to find out how powerful you are, we'd have to ask you questions about ourselves?" Leonardo asked rather shrewdly.

   Jazz bit her lip. "Well…supposedly…mind you, you could be slightly different from how you're represented where I've seen you…"

   The characters looked at each other and grinned. Jazz shrunk away from them- literally, as she became a shorter character. 

   "Why do I think I said a wee bit too much?" she asked herself with a nervous smile.


	4. Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo...

Chapter 4  
  
  
  
It was a stunning entrance, to say the least.  
  
A year after the Destiny war Fanelia was holding a large feast. Allen, Millerna, Dryden, and Eries had all come from Asturia to join in the celebration along with Merle and Van. They'd had three hours of joyous reunion and good food, but now it was time for the ancient chancellors to give praise and thanks to King Van and 'Destinies Heroes', as they'd been dubbed. Everyone was settled for a long speech.  
  
So when a portal of some sort opened up in the middle of the hall and a girl stepped out, they were all surprised. She was dressed in Mystic Moon fashions. She wore a pair of black bobby boots, baggy jeans, red top and black coat. Her hair was a navy blue, and her eyes the same. She didn't seem too shocked at her position on top on the head table, but shocked at her attire. Completely ignoring everyone, she focused on herself.  
  
"Yo! What's this about? I hadn't realized that Yara was developed enough to be considered a true character!"  
  
Allen, Van, and a handful of guards came to their senses and drew their swords. This the girl noticed.  
  
"Hey! Put those away. I don't want anyone to get hurt here, especially since I'm running out of time." She said and hopped off the table.  
  
Van, being King, spoke first. "Who are you, and how'd you get here?" he demanded, the Fanelian Royal sword held at her neck.  
  
"Heh. Arrogant as ever, aren't you?" She questioned him, not at all disturbed.  
  
"I'm an Author. But that's not what you meant. You meant my name. Well, I'm Rayven, that's all you need to know. And since I'm an Author, I used my Power to get me here. Clear enough?"  
  
She reached into her pocket, and one of the guards considered it hostile. He lunged and stabbed her in the arm. She screamed. Loudly.  
  
"Hey! Damn you that hurt! She glared and the blade turned into sunflower seeds. Castle mice scurried in and took the unexpected bounty before scurrying away again just as quickly.  
  
"Now I'm going to have to use AP to heal myself again!" This comment in itself would have seemed odd enough, but she changed. She became taller, with blood red hair and green eyes. Her skin darkened and her outfit became that of a Fanelian Scout. The wound on her arm was gone.  
  
"Lady." Spoke Allen. He sheathed his sword and gestured to the rest to do the same. "This is perhaps not the best place to get aquainted."  
  
The people of the hall had begun to file out as quickly as possible. Who knew what a girl who turned swords into sunflower seeds could do?  
  
"You're right, Sir Pa-I mean Allen. Could you all go away, except for…" she addressed the crowd and began to count on her fingers.  
  
"Allen, Eries, Merle, Millerna, and Van?"  
  
The guards looked uncertainly to Van, who nodded to them.  
  
" You might as well go. Make sure that no one faints or passes out once their outside." He said.  
  
"Lady, would you like to go to more comfortable surroundings?" He asked, then as an afterthought. "Why are you dressed as a scout? Of my kingdom?"  
  
The Author nodded and smiled. "Well Van, I'd like you to meet your 7 times great granddaughter Queen Yakanti Courageuse de Fanel. She's a character that I have. I'll explain the rest later."  
  
She didn't seem ready to say anything else, so Van only nodded and pointed to a small study. "We can all fit in there. Come on then."  
  
The five of them filed into the small room and took seats. The girl sat cross legged on top of the desk.  
  
"I'm an Author, as I said before." She began. "Did Hitomi tell you about those?"  
  
"We have many fine writings of literature…" spoke Merle. But the girl on the desk was already shaking her head.  
  
"Author with a capitol A. But before I get into it, I have to bring in the rest of the focal characters. Hitomi will be at school right about now, and Folken's dead, so those two won't be hard." She said to herself, looking around the room.  
  
"Umm, Author? What are you trying to say?" Asked Millerna, who was extremely confused.  
  
The girl smiled. "Never mind. I'll explain later. Allen, Selena's in your holding, correct?" The blonde knight nodded.  
  
"Excellent." Said the girl, and pointed her fingers at three separate points in the room. Bundles of shockwaves appeared. From one stepped Hitomi Kanzaki, in her school uniform.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Burton I-hey! I'm on Gaea?"  
  
From the one in the middle stepped Dilandau.  
  
"Jajuka! Where's my-Van, I'm going to kill you!"  
  
And from the last stepped Folken Strategos.  
  
"Zongi, I don't want to-Damn it! Would you Authors just leave me alone please?"  
  
The girl glanced over at the Strategos as she wrestled the sword away from Dilandau.  
  
"Sorry Folken, This is a matter of utmost importance. Give me your sword Van. Dilandau, you sit over there." She gestured to a seat the farthest away from the king.  
  
"Hitomi, yes you're on Gaea, but hopefully not for long. But now I'm getting down to business."  
  
She changed again, this time getting shorter, about 5'4". Her nose became slightly crooked and she was clothed in a one-piece black bodysuit with a silver chain around her stomach. A large green backpack appeared beside her. The girl didn't seem to notice the change.  
  
"I'm an Author, My name's Rayven-with-a-Y, all of the fan bases have collapsed into one big heap, and all of the creative fans of the world are claiming what they believe to be rightfully theirs. Namely, that would be you all, the characters. Don't ask me questions now, I'm on a roll," she said as Eries began to speak.  
  
"The FCPA doesn't know what's going on, so three Authors have come together to protect whomever we can. We can only protect characters to whom we are True Fans. So I have earphones for you all. I want you to put them on and listen for a chime, kinda like a very large bell being rung, aight?"  
  
Everyone nodded, still a little confused. Rayven stood up and distributed the little headsets. Merle had trouble with hers until Rayven waved her hand and the set morphed to fit her ears.  
  
When everyone had the sets on correctly she sat on the desk.  
  
"I'm going to say three names. When you hear the chime, tell me." Everyone nodded again, and Rayven started.  
  
"Jazz"  
  
"Stop."  
  
"What is it Allen?"  
  
"You told us to tell you when we heard the chime, well I did."  
  
"Okay, let's try it again to be sure. Jazz."  
  
Allen nodded.  
  
"Alright." Said the Author, amused. "There's no surprise there. Allen you're true fan is Jazz. She's a slightly off-kilter extremely powerful Author, you're lucky."  
  
Allen looked a little pensive, but there was no time to smooth things out.  
  
"Ka-Dilandau! Put my lighter down! It's not a toy!" Rayven made a grab for it, but it was Folken who snatched the small bic from the pyromaniacs' hand.  
  
"Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh right. Kat."  
  
"Stop." Said both Merle and Van. All the Author could say was "uh-oh."  
  
Van looked at her.  
  
"What do you mean 'Uh-Oh'?"  
  
"I mean you two have the pleasure of having an absolutely insane pyro for you True Fan. Don't worry, she won't hurt you, I'm saying uh-oh for all those poor souls that are going to want to take her from you."  
  
The girl settled herself more comfortably on the desk  
  
"I have one more name." She said. "Rayven."  
  
Folken stood up.  
  
"I'm with you then." He said. "I'm glad it's not you and not some other rabid fan-girl. You guys are a vicious lot."  
  
Rayven nodded. "That wasn't unexpected." She said. "A lot of them really liked you. After all, who wouldn't?"  
  
"Rayven? I'm with you too." Eries stood up and walked over. The girl looked surprised, and changed again. This time into a male. He stood about 6'3" and was well muscled. His eyes were brown and his hair fairly longish for a guy from the Mystic Moon. It was held into a short stub of a pony tail.  
  
"That's great Eries. I didn't expect that one." On hearing his-or her- voice, Rayven looked down.  
  
"Damnit damnit damnit! I was hoping I'd stay in the same sex! Oh well."  
  
She drew a circle in the air and gave Dilandau back his blade. "You, mister Albatou, march through there." She –or he- said and searched for Hitomi, who was sitting on Van, face streaked with tears.  
  
"Listen, Hitomi, I know it's been a year since you and Van have seen each other, but time is truly of the essence." He-or she- said kindly.  
  
"Go on back to Earth, I swear I will write you two together once this mess is cleaned up, okay?"  
  
The other teenaged girl nodded and walked towards her portal. "Alright. Take good care of my Van." She told the Author, and hugged Van tight before stepping through, back to Japan.  
  
To Millerna, she said sadly. "I'm really sorry about this. But I can't take you with us. Just try to live normally and remember that once everything is settled down, you won't remember a thing." Rayven turned to the others and marched to a corner of the room.  
  
"All chosen characters please stand over here. Ima have to make this jump on pure Power, so be quiet and everyone hold onto each others shoulders."  
  
The girl opened another bundle of shockwaves, and the entire groups of them disappeared. Millerna was left with her headphones and a look of shock on her face. 


	5. The award for "lengthy, rambling explana...

Disclaimer: *takes a deep breath* I don't own any of the following: top ten stars, the TMNT, X-Men, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Vampire High, Harry Potter, Escaflowne, or Dark Angel.  
  
Author's Note: In case anyone was reading this, I did revisions on some of the chapters to include some missing info- this one included. Enjoy.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Kathleen, known more commonly as Dude or Kitty, was not where she intended to be.  
  
She could tell right away, even though she had no idea where she was at first. Whichever direction she, Jazz, and Ray had pointed her in, this could not be it.  
  
She was in the middle of a party full of dancing teenagers in a huge, psychedelic coloured club.  
  
And then she recognized the song that was playing, saw the stage, and cringed.  
  
"Why am I in an *NSYNC music video?" she yelled, but no one answered.  
  
"If this is your idea of a joke…" she muttered, thinking of the other authors. But surely they wouldn't joke around in such a dire situation…surely she'd just gotten lost…there had to be a way out…  
  
And suddenly, the music ended, and the video was over.  
  
Kitty let out a sigh of relief.  
  
She only blinked for a moment. And yet, when she opened her eyes, she was in her own personal hell.  
  
Britney Spears stood out on a balcony in front of her, singing.  
  
"All you people look at me like I'm a little girl…" she crooned.  
  
"I now know that there is no god. No god could be this cruel. I defy you, deity! I defy you!"  
  
She concentrated on her authoress powers, though they were a bit unsteady in this realm. But when she blinked, she knew she was elsewhere.  
  
On a beach, and Destiny's Child was singing "Survivor".  
  
"Damn you!" Kitty yelled up into the sky, shaking a fist. "Damn you!"  
  
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Jazz was learning that her favourite fictional characters could really be as annoying as pop songs.  
  
"What's my favourite food?" Mike questioned.  
  
Jazz rolled her eyes. "I don't know, Mike, maybe goulash?"  
  
"Where's my trademark place to eat and have a pint?" Wolverine demanded.  
  
"The White Horse Tavern, Greenwich Village." Jazz replied smoothly.  
  
"See, that makes me feel unloved." Mike pouted, which was actually cute in his form of an eight-year-old boy.  
  
"Well, you didn't have a book written by Christopher Golden about you. Wolverine did. The X-Men is a more widely chronicled series with lots of trivia to take in. When it comes to stuff about you and Raph and Leo…I can't know as much. Especially since I haven't read the whole comic book series, which is the mainstay, and there are no big books to summarize it for me. Like with X-Men."  
  
"How come they get a big book and we don't?" Mike whined.  
  
Jazz shrugged. "X-Men has been around pretty steady and popular for about 40 years. And for a lot of that time, lots of stuff has been coming out about Wolverine. He's a very popular- some say the most popular- of X- Men, if not Marvel, characters."  
  
Storm frowned. "What's Marvel?"  
  
"The comic book company that prints X-Men and all related titles. All the other superheroes and characters you meet up with in your series that aren't completely minor or X-Men have their own titles. Some characters have their own titles to themselves as well as being part of the X-Men and doing cameos with Spider-Man and Generation X and stuff…while Gen X was still around. Gambit used to do that." Jazz told her.  
  
"Hey, we need to get some trivia here, too." Raphael pointed out. "Now, uh, what's our comic book company?"  
  
"Mirage, aptly named because at first it wasn't really a company- get it? Founded by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, financed by them as well, with the help of a loan from a friend. They started off just wanting to publish their comic 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles', a single book, and a parody of several other popular comic concepts of the time. However, with the demand for the first one, they ended up running a series. They wanted to do action figures for these turtles, so they talked to Playmates, but they wanted to run an animated series so they signed the deal. The cartoon was a hit and ran for nine years. There were three movies and endless merchandising- like Ninja Turtle Kleenex. After the fad died out a bit, but there was a live-action show with a female turtle and another comic book run with Image, but nothing really came of it. There's talk of a new show and a fourth movie these days, though." Jazz took in a breath, looking frail in her petite form of a teenage girl with long, wavy blonde hair and bright violet-blue eyes. "But that's boring stuff, any real turtle fan could rattle that off, probably better than I could."  
  
Leonardo shrugged. "It was still impressive."  
  
Raphael waved a hand impatiently. "There has to be a better way than this to gauge power. This is just confusing."  
  
Gambit smiled. "You could tell us about dese fanfics of yours, petite."  
  
Jazz groaned. "Do I have to?" Her hair then turned the colour of storm clouds, and her eyes turned sharp silver with blue flecks.  
  
"Well, start off with who this character is." Storm said helpfully.  
  
Jazz furrowed her brow. "Sheesh, she's a pretty obscure one, I haven't written about her at all…I forget her real name, but the codename's Thundercloud, and she's almost like living water vapour, you know, ultimately intangible- at least, that's part of it. I had her all figured out before, but right now I can just kind of tell you that she marries Darren and has the really weird kid."  
  
"And Darren is…?" Iceman queried.  
  
"Oh, that's Wolverine's son. You saw him."  
  
"My son with who?" Wolverine asked.  
  
"Oh, another original. Alyssa Farrell, codename: Nightshade. Don't worry, though the whole romance thing is corny- by deities, it always is- she's a relatively cool girl, attractive, powerful, martial artist- all that good stuff." Jazz commented. "Maybe she'll come up again- although hopefully in the future incarnation, the one which is actually married to you- the one that was around before was kinda young."  
  
"I'm not gonna pretend I remember who that was." Raph muttered.  
  
"Didn't you make up any originals for our universe?" Leonardo inquired.  
  
Jazz changed into a female humanoid turtle with long brown hair and a killer figure. "It's funny you should say so…"  
  
Mike whistled appreciatively. "Well made, she's totally hot."  
  
He then changed into a domineering-looking man in plain black clothing, which made for a rather strange effect.  
  
"And she is?" Leonardo prompted.  
  
"An alien princess, galactic guardian, with kind of a weak background. Actually, the only chaptered fanfiction I have finished is one with mainly just you guys- turtles- despite the heaping number of X-Men type characters I've made up. There are only about 4 originals in the entire story, if you don't count the Fate Entity, me, and my dog." Jazz quipped.  
  
"You do Mary Sue-age?" Mike asked.  
  
Jazz shrugged. "I guess. But it's no typical Mary Sue-ness, because of the world-colliding plot and basically that there is a plot. And talking dogs are always funny."  
  
"Right…" Raphael said, more in confusion than agreement.  
  
"Wait a minute…" Leonardo said thoughtfully, suddenly, looking over at Mike. "He keeps morphing into characters. Does this mean he has author powers?"  
  
Jazz smiled brilliantly. "I was wondering when you'd ask."  
  
The characters groaned, ready for another lengthy explanation.  
  
"Being as Mike is a fictional character- based in a sub-reality- his stories, about other fictional characters or not, are based in a sub- reality and therefore fanfiction. However, being fictional himself, these powers are pretty minor, because they come from a sub-reality of a sub- reality- making Mike less powerful than even the lowliest of authors. But, more powerful than you guys I guess. If he can figure out how to use that power, or even if it is able to be utilized."  
  
Mike nodded appreciatively. "Cool. That made sense to me."  
  
Jazz's smile widened until it might've split her face. "Thanks."  
  
The others sighed. "Don't get her started." Raphael advised his brother.  
  
"You have no idea what gets me started, my reptilian friend." Jazz tapped Raph on the arm with a mischievous wink.  
  
"Hey." Iceman cut in, looking alarmed. "Does a true fan have to have romantic interest in you to…"  
  
Storm's face went white and she backed herself into a corner. Psylocke raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Jazz.  
  
Jazz shook her head rather vehemently. "No. As you can see by the Storm thing and Ray, you know, being straight. And the Psylocke thing and me being straight. Although for some reason, the majority of characters I do like are male. I can't speak for Kitty and Ray, of course."  
  
"But the fan can have a romantic interest, right chere?"  
  
Jazz nodded. "Yup, Gambit, you're right. They can have an interest…or they just think you have qualities that they find endearing, endearing enough to become rather devoted to you, anyway."  
  
"So…" Mike said, with a dazzling smile in the body of an aristocratic girl in a very fancy dress, "which of my qualities are most endearing, my sweet?"  
  
Jazz buried her face in her hands. "Once again, I've spoken too soon."  
  
"Hey Wolverine- you're endearing, mon ami."  
  
"And you're annoying, Cajun."  
  
"That is, unless she has a romantic interest in you." Storm put in with a mischievous grin uncharacteristic of her.  
  
"Gah!" Jazz slumped in her chair and turned into a bald man with scales all about his head and sunken, beady eyes. "May I remind you characters that I could leave you out there for the other authors to chase you down like vultures?"  
  
"But there must be some other authors that just want to protect us." Leonardo reasoned.  
  
"Yes, but you'd be hard-pressed to find them before the other majority of authors chase you down and use you as…well, whatever their intentions are, really."  
  
Psylocke grimaced. "That does not sound pretty."  
  
Jazz nodded. "No, it isn't, really."  
  
"Don't we have the right to know if you have a romantic interest in us?" Raphael demanded.  
  
Jazz shrugged. "There are no real character rights. That's why they're so maltreated in fanfiction. No ambassadors to the cause, you know. Might change after this, though. If it all ends up okay."  
  
"Meaning we'd never see you again?" Mike asked.  
  
Jazz shook her head and sent a sidelong glance at Wolverine. "I think there's plenty of evidence to the contrary of that."  
  
Leonardo frowned. "Hold up…so you've visited them, but not us?"  
  
Jazz frowned right back. "It's just very easy to get yourself into the X- Men universe. It's constantly being breached. More tough to get into your world. But remember the whole long fanfiction I finished with you guys in it?"  
  
Mike smiled in satisfaction. "Uh huh. I hear you fall in love with me in that one."  
  
Jazz's jaw dropped. "How…how did you know that?"  
  
"My powers seem to be geared towards the sub-reality. I can access information accumulated by other sub-reality versions of myself. Like fanfiction versions." Mike replied.  
  
Jazz looked incredibly nervous. "How…um…useful. You could research authors and stuff that way."  
  
Raphael was curious. "You fall in love with Mike, huh?"  
  
Mike only grinned. "You have no idea, bro." He glanced over at Jazz.  
  
"You wouldn't." Her eyes whipped daggers at Mike.  
  
"Well…"  
  
"I can't let you say something even implying that. You know what I can do." Jazz warned.  
  
"Actually, we don't know what you can do. That's the issue." Leonardo cut in.  
  
Mike smiled. "You wouldn't. You lurve me."  
  
"You'd be surprised…" Jazz muttered.  
  
"Surprised at what?" Mike asked, alarmed.  
  
Gambit stepped in. "Whoa, time out, mes amis. Let's not forget the service this jeune fille provides us just by keeping us in her lovely company, non?"  
  
The others grunted in agreement and Jazz smiled adoringly over at Gambit. "Ah, Remy, why didn't I ever latch on to you? Things would be so much simpler."  
  
Wolverine bristled. "Hey, what are you implying?"  
  
"I think she's saying that he's more likable." Mike told him.  
  
Raphael growled. "If we lose her to this guy, we're on our own."  
  
Wolverine, Mike, and Raphael united to bare their most dangerous glares at Gambit. They glanced over at Psylocke to join them, but she shrugged.  
  
"She likes me because I'm cool. You're the ones who have to worry about the whole romantic interest thing."  
  
Meanwhile, Gambit shifted his weight uneasily. "Uh, chere…is there anything you can do to…"  
  
Jazz cast her glance at the three in death-stare mode. "I don't know what I can do, honestly. I've no idea why I like them more than you. Well, of course, martial artists are always so damn sexy…"  
  
Psylocke glanced over.  
  
"Excepting Psylocke, who I platonically observe as being rather attractive, but who I would by no means call sexy, because…well, yeck." Jazz shuddered. "Really not gay."  
  
"Ha!" Storm called out aloud.  
  
"What, ha?" Iceman asked curiously.  
  
"I finally found the pattern! They're all male martial artists!" Storm crowed.  
  
"Except me." Psylocke put in. "Being your obsession is so taxing, Jazz."  
  
"And that doesn't explain why she's not a true fan to Don and I." Leonardo pointed out.  
  
"Oh." Storm's face fell.  
  
Jazz snorted. "Good luck finding a pattern. Sure, Logan and Raph have their strange similarities, but then there's Mike. Then you get Spike in there, and Nightcrawler and Quicksilver from that one realm, and you're totally screwed. And then there's Alec, which is sort of making sense, but then there's Marty- well, I guess there are slight similarities…oh, and then there's this other character on this show I like, but since it's so similar to real Earth the characters didn't cross over…and Ron. They better not forget him. I mean, I know George is so totally out of there before they can get to him, but he can take care of himself, but if they can't get to Ron…"  
  
"What are you rambling about now?" Raphael asked, peeved.  
  
"Just my favourite characters." Jazz said with a shrug.  
  
"Wait a minute…we have to fit all the people you just mentioned into this cabin?" Iceman looked incredulous.  
  
"They're all male." Storm put in, frowning thoughtfully.  
  
Jazz just nodded to Iceman. "Them, and whoever Ray and Kitty decide are worthy of a pickup."  
  
Mike looked around. "You know, for some reason, I think you'll need to renovate."  
  
But Jazz was ignoring this. "Allen! Of course! I almost forgot. Man, what force of nature made me like that one, I have no clue…"  
  
"Did you hear me?" Mike asked. "The renovating?"  
  
Jazz nodded again. "Oh, of course, right on that. Renovating."  
  
But before she had a chance to do that, a burst of shockwaves swept the room, and Rayven appeared, with a following of her own- characters from the Japanese cartoon "Escaflowne", to be precise.  
  
"Ray." Jazz smiled in relief. "Glad it's you. What kept you?"  
  
Rayven frowned slightly, brushing some imaginary dirt from her- or rather, him- self. She was a male character. "Dimensional fluxes. Powers are a little whack."  
  
Jazz nodded. "Mine too."  
  
Ray turned to look around and smiled slightly. "Like what you've done with the place. Adamantium?"  
  
"Only the best." Jazz replied. "I knew you'd go to Gaea first. Where do you think Kitty got to?"  
  
Ray shrugged. "I don't know. I'm going to make another run, though, to Buffy-verse-"  
  
But at that precise moment, she was cut off.  
  
In a flash of blue light, Kitty appeared, in a right fury. "Music videos! I got sent into the depths of the top ten! What the hell happened?"  
  
Jazz and Ray both shrugged. "Dimensional flux?" Ray suggested.  
  
Kitty groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have gone towards the light."  
  
Jazz smiled sympathetically. "You know…you don't think you might be able to stay here and watch the characters while we go out for a few runs? We'll be back real quick."  
  
Kitty looked around. "Well, I guess I could-"  
  
"Don't forget to renovate. Bye!" Jazz promptly disappeared in a swirl of iridescent sparkles.  
  
"Ooh, sparkly." Mike commented as a cute 4-year-old girl.  
  
Leonardo turned to Iceman. "We tormented her that much, huh?"  
  
Iceman shrugged. "Guess so."  
  
"Aw, don't worry, she still lurves us." Mike told them with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, us and half the population of California." Raphael muttered.  
  
"Okay, so, I'll see you later Kit!" Ray waved and disappeared in a blur of shockwaves.  
  
Kitty looked around at the expectant faces of the new characters and the grinning ones of the old.  
  
"They stuck me with the evil job again, didn't they?" she grumbled. 


End file.
